08 Jan Give Grace
Posted at 09:41h in Family
I was just reading about the unrest that is currently happening in the US and found an article that gave tips on talking to your kids about it. One of the standouts for me was “bad actions are different than bad people.” After we have just finished the most tumultuous year in almost everyones lives, that one really resonated with me. As an adult these words likely meant more for me than it would my kids. No matter how any of us deals with our emotions, we are all vulnerable. We are all human. Some of us can carry mountains, some of us cry during Gatorate commercials, some of us retreat, some of us get angry. Give grace. This is alot.
One of my reset members framed it similarly, she said “stress brings out the ugly in people and we have to work to not get sucked into the ugly.” If you are a person who is generally more sensitive, take note: when people react the way they do, we don’t always have to know the reason why, but almost always it’s something they are carrying. It’s not on always on us. It’s tough to be on the receiving end for freaking sure BUT when we are, we need to step back, take a breath and give grace. This is alot.
A few weeks ago I was driving through a construction area and just as I passed the last flagsmen, I looked in my rearview window and saw that he was giving me the finger. Maybe he was threatened by my mini van. Maybe he had a crappy morning, none the less, he was not happy. I had a momentary urge of pulling over and asking him what his problem was but I was on my way to get my kids and that probably wouldn’t of resulted in anything positive so I carried on, heart rate slightly elevated. It was not kind BUT we can never know all that one is going through thus don’t get sucked into the ugly. Give grace.
Yesterday when I was chasing my 4 year old across a parking lot after he attempted to become a fugitive and escape from going to pre school, I felt it, I felt the ugly. Picture a masked mother chasing a fast 4 year old (masked also) kid across an icy driveway while my 6 year old watched through the window laughing….. prior I had an upsetting phone call and right after I had to put a smile on and attend a meeting. I had to work super, super hard to keep in that ugly. We al have those days but when you add in the layers of what the world is carrying right now, it’s alot. Sometimes we can handle it, other days we can’t and we react in ways we shouldn’t. (See flagsmen story above). Give grace.
As much as being kind can be challenging when you are feeling the energy of whatever is going on in the world right now, it’s always the best choice. One of my favourite quotes by Maya Angelou is “people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” When the dust settles, people will never forget your kindness and compassion and what you may not realize, is that compassion may be what carries them through some of that ugly. I thought about finding that flagsmen the next day and giving him a coffee (and also driving away quickly in case he threw it) but I didn’t. In all seriousness though, we don’t need any more division. We are sure being tested but it’s not the answer. Take big breaths, move your body, scream, punch a pillow, watch greys anatomy or whatever you need to do to get out the ugly, and then give grace.
We will survive this hard thing. We will thrive. We will grow and we will be stronger for it on the other side. We’ve got this. Together, we’ve got this!
Happy Friday awesome people!