18 Feb Where happiness comes from
When you look in the mirror what do you see?
I see a broken tired woman, staring back at me. She forgets how much she’s loved and how much life she deserves to live….. all she sees is her flaws and feels she has nothing more to give.
There are too many women (and men) that feel like this in our society today. There is literally an epidemic of stress that is overpowering so many of us and we are being told to push harder, hustle, strive, perform and look really good while you are doing it.
We also have these intense messages all over the social media, magazine covers, TV, basically everywhere you look- saying that if you just did this quick weight loss program, you are going to feel good again.
We need to STOP PROMISSING THAT HAPPINESS COMES FROM WEIGHT LOSS…..it does not!!!!! Nor does health!!
Happiness has a multitude of ingredients to create and for those of us who are fortunate to be healthy, I consider that a prerequisite. To me health is not dependent just on how much you exercise or what food you put in your mouth. If you want to be supremely healthy, you must first learn how to set boundaries on your time and frankly- learn how to say no. I know teaching someone how to say no it not typically on your radar for “changing your life,” but it’s important and this is why. If you can’t say no to anyone and are living your life trying to please others with no ability to set boundaries, you are going to get stressed. Very stressed. That stress can be balanced, to a degree, with exercise and healthy eating…but if you don’t take stock of how much you are putting in your calendar, it’s going to get increasingly difficult to have the energy to keep exercising and eating well. When we are exhausted and overwhelmed, what is the easiest thing to cross of the list??? You!!!! Hand me the chocolate chips!
People need to stop telling themselves they are lazy when they can’t stick to an exercise routine and keep resorting back to foods they don’t need. We also need to stop glorifying weight loss as the way to live your best life. You guys let me tell you right now- your happiness is not on the other side of 10 lbs. It’s on the other side of slowing the F down so you can look after yourself. What we need to do is stop putting so much pressure on ourselves to be everything, do everything and making gluten free, dairy free muffins for the county fair on top of 1800 other things. (Maybe county fair is not the right analogy but I hope you are following).
If you want to change your life for the better, know that it starts from within. Know that it’s a long haul effort that will take some trial and error, falling down and getting back up again and just so old- fashioned figuring it out. It’s a privilege and a responsibility to make your health a priority. It’s on you to learn how to set boundaries around your time so that your own health can remain a priority. Learning to be kind to yourself, celebrating the little wins, creating moments of stillness, getting good sleep, drinking water, moving your body, fueling yourself with healthy food, saying no thanks I’d rather sit on my couch and watch compass- all of it counts, all of it helps and all of it takes time…. It’s a lifetime of work but it will create a lifetime of feeling good. There will be weeks you lose yourself a bit but reset, regroup and keep going. You’ve got this!
Last week I saw a post about how we constantly are telling ourselves it will be better next week when things slow down….as if they are going to slow down on their own. Ferris wheels would go all day until someone put the brakes on and your busy schedule will operate much the same way. It’s on you to put the brakes on or atleast re-assess how you can slow down the speed.
If your own wish for happiness is not enough of a catalyst for change, look at your kids. One day, they will be just like you. One day they will have to decide if their health and happiness is a priority. What do you want for them? You can be that!! You deserve to be that. You are here to shine your light into the world- don’t let it dim.
The older I get the less I am trying to do so the more I can give to those things I love. Last week I made a few too many decisions based on “I should” then “I want to” and it caught up to me. I’m still learning but I’m committed to never giving up. My happier heart knows that it’s worth it.
When I look in the mirror, I know the person I see deserves to smile from the inside out. Sending you that love and light today and a reminder that goes for you too.