22 May How sleepless nights made me chill out
So a couple of weeks ago I closed the chapter on my 30’s. I was so busy pandemic-ing that I forgot that I had also reached a new milestone: a decade of having children that don’t sleep through the night. Ever. A whole decade.
My oldest was born when I was 29 and we have been on a waking up through the night streak for 10.5 years. I can’t tell you how many times people have told me “you gotta get your kids to sleep through the night.” I can’t tell you how many times, although it would be about the same number, that I just stared back and them and had to bite my tongue. “Oh really?? Is life easier when you get rest??” “Is it better when you can remember your own name?”
Sleep is so important for just functioning and I have found it irritating how society has tended to glorify going until you drop. Sleep is cool you guys. You are so much better when you get it. You have more motivation to do things, you are happier, you don’t eat a bag of chocolate chips and not even remember after- its good!! I can’t tell you what I would of given for my kids to be sleepers so I could of gotten more of it. It didn’t serve me well to feel like a zombie.
There was one way it benefited me though and I’m all about turning a mess into a message. I became too tired to care about being a perfect mom. I was way too tired to try to be all the things and do all the things that so many moms feel they need to do – so I decided to embrace my laundry piles, my kids mismatched socks, their often unbrushed hair and just be happy with “good.” My new favourite quote: “and now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good” by John Steinbeck. I think it’s been around for awhile but I’m obsessed with it. Be kind to you!!
Life is short, life can be hard (what’s up 2020!!??) but life can be good….and it sure can be a better version of good when you get sleep and take care of you. #napsarelife
With regards to the sleeping, we still have 1-3 kids in our bed every night. I have tried everything- sleep training, cry it out, sleep on the floor beside the bed, eat fire, play music, essential oils, meditation music- you name it. One of my friends once felt so bad for me she bought me a sleep coach!!!! It helped a little bit but well- we still wake up to children peeing down the stair steps, kicking us in the stomach and pretending to be lions in their sleep. It is what it is and we have managed. I won’t go as far to say it’s been worth every sleepless night because it’s been freaking hard. I love my kids but for the love of god- please!!!!!!! But I am truly grateful for the perspectives it gave me. It led to me starting my own business, it led me on a mission to share the message to be easier on ourselves and it led me to buy some really cool middle of the night purchases that I might not of bought if I was cognitively aware. And as often as I have gotten the “you need your kids to sleep message,” I have also gotten tenfold “it goes so fast so enjoy it.” That I can attest to- it does go fast, it’s way easier now than when I was feeding them 18 times a night and I know they won’t want to wrap their limbs around me forever so for now- its one night at a time…
To those out there who are in the trenches with sleep, it does get easier and you will look back on right now and know you are a warrior.
If your kids are sleepers, I truly am happy for you….. A little jealous, but happy..because I know this stuff is hard and we need all the strength we can get. You are a warrior too.
To those moms who don’t drink coffee- I don’t know where you came from but you are super human.
You can hear the message “be easy on yourself” a million times and its still hard to let some things go, but try…..Try because you deserve to feel good everyday and sometimes it takes a lot of time and effort to get there. Its worth it and so are you.